is this still my problem?

he did the “disappear as he goes up to his denver drug hookup boyfriend’s place and does drugs for a couple more days” option

i mean, i can’t say nobody saw this coming. it’s literally what he told me he was going to do, multiple times

how the fuck does he think i want him back?

i mean, on some level he knows i don’t. he started his phone call to me literally already trying to hang up. like, it was “hello” “how are you” and then “i’m going to give you your space goodbye”

we talked about how i wanted him to stay in the hospital, and yeah indeed, i’m not comfortable with him right now, because i can tell he’s unstable. the reason i can tell he’s unstable is i get a different him every time i talk to him. further, he sounds high

he wouldn’t admit to being high, but didn’t deny it either. then he called me unstable and says he’ll call me in a couple days again when i’m more stable

his sister took over the line then and we talked for a bit. i kind of said i’m worried, and i made sure to let her know that cheetah had tried to beat the shit out of me last month and then tried to kill himself last week when i was gone for a day, and that psychotic break happened after he had been doing drugs every three days. oh, and also, i’d talked to their mom about this too

i think i feel better just from having said that all out loud

i hope that she calls her mom and they have a family discussion tonight

because ultimately nobody knows what to do about cheetah

she’s going to watch him for the night and give me a call in the morning

i unno, he may still turn out to be my problem

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