the chee who tries

i got to talk to cheetah for a few minutes

i called this morning and he agreed to speak with me and we talked for about ten minutes. he’s delicate but didn’t have the rage he had yesterday

we tried to touch on important stuff, but had to abort a couple topics when he started to get upset. he was trying very hard to keep himself stable

i let him know the cats were okay, and missing him a lot. we talked about the kitties for a couple minutes

he remembered me dropping by yesterday but couldn’t remember anything about the visit

he told me they were transferring him to “county” later, and i think he means jail

he went into a little detail about the specifics of how he tried to kill himself, and how the knife just couldn’t cut his skin. i let him know whatever circuit, inside his head or out, kept him from killing himself, i was glad for it. he started to cry and needed to end the conversation

i went off after and had a solid cry for a while too

then less than an hour later i’m in my room and i hear someone hollering at me from the front door (which i’d left open to air out the house a little). i go out and a tall thin old guy with a hat that says “citadel security” says they’re transferring cheetah and he needs some clothes

cheetah can’t come in apparently, but i can bring him what he needs. so i go out to the van and chee is in the back seat and we talk and hug and he’s once again the cheetah who tries

he’s sorry for the problems he’s caused, and vows twice to fix everything

he’s trying to keep jovial, but seems scared

he’s sure he’s on just a 72 hour hold, but the security guy told me they were transferring him to “aurora north,” which to my ear sounds like the other side of the state, and i’m not sure why they’d go to so much effort if they were just going to let him go tomorrow morning

he asked for some jeans, a shirt, socks, and undies. i bring him a set of shoes too. we hug through the window again and get to talk for another minute. i scribble down my phone digits onto a paper so he can call me when he gets there later

then i watched cheetah get driven off in the back of a very new SUV by two strangers who never gave me a name more than “vikki” for the driver, and “citadel security” for the company

i went back in the house and had another solid cry


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